Exercise - live longer
Whilst taking part in celebrity big brother, Jack Dee said to Anthea Turner these immortal words:
you exercise for an hour a day, you'll add 10 years to your life. That would be ok if those weren't the ten years when you
are sat dribbling in the corner of an old peoples home wishing you were dead."
Such an observation on the
pointlessness of too much exercise deserves to be remembered.
Death - It comes to us all
Jack Dee's comments lead me to another chain of thought, yes death comes to us all, but for the sake of family and friends,
you've got to time it right....
The best time to die is after your children have grown up, but before you become
a burden on society. This is a difficult thing to calculate, because by the time youve grown too old, you are often too mad
to notice. So you have to take precautions. If you are overweight and smoke too much, youll probably die in your early 50s.
I dont know about you, but I think thats a bit to early.
Now it goes against the grain, but I suggest that if you smoke,
you cut down a bit and do a small amount of exercise. That way you should last to about 75, which I think is probably about
right for most people.
Not smoking can cause problems, but if you cut out all exercise, you still shouldnt make it over
75 though you may need a rather large expensive coffin.
If you feel that you are too fit in your early 70s, or you are
starting to dribble and you are going to live too long, I suggest taking up and exciting hobby such as roller coaster riding
this may just push your heart over the edge.
Alternatively a dangerous sport such as rock climbing or motorcycle racing
should do the job.
I suggest you avoid such things as tennis and jogging as a means to heart failure, they might actually
make you fitter and live several years longer.
OK, But what happens then...
What happens after you die?
Well Im not a religious person you can keep your imaginary friends, or Gods as far as
I'm concerned. It seems to me religion was dreamt up as a means to control people, and I'm certainly not willing to believe
that the world revolves around any given set of fairy stories.
So, what happens after you die?
I cant see
how such a strong consciousness as the human mind can possibly be completely gone. When you look at a newborn animal how
does it know straight away how to walk and eat? I personally think that when you die most of you is gone, just a small part
of your consciousness is transferred to a new born child or animal. This helps me come to terms with death, because I can
believe that a small part of me will live on, not only in my children, but a part of me will still be alive for ever.
What if you found a portal to a parallel universe? What if you could slide into a thousand different worlds where it's the
same year and you're the same person, but everything else is different? And what if you can't find your way home?
thats what the official promo stuff says anyway, but I've been thinking about it.....
If there were thousands of alternative dimensions the chances of finding people in them would be so remote as to be impossible.
Starting with the Big Bang many billions of years ago, the chances of the same planet earth even existing are incredibly
The chances of earth being in the same orbit around the same type of star are astronomical.
chances of life starting in the same way are virtually impossible.
The chances of humans developing are beyond calculation.
And the chances that youll meet someone who looks like you and has had a similar life to you in every dimension is
so far remote as to beggar belief.
The program my not be very realistic, but if you think about it we are so lucky
to be alive.
Life in a Jar
I was e-mailed this as a way of expressing the meaning of life - sorry to whoever originally wrote it, but I had to post it......
"A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly
he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked
the students if the jar was full? They agreed that
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The students laughed. The professor
picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
said the professor, "I want you to recognise that this is your life.
The rocks are the important things - your
family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life
would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is
everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or
the rocks. The same
goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have
room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work,
clean the house, give a
dinner party and fix the disposal." "Take care of the rocks first - the things that
really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
A student then took the jar
which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled
the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.
The moral of this tale is:
That no matter
how full your life is, there is always room for BEER."